When we get comfortable with trying, even a bit, we open the possibility of failure because we make it respectable to walk off the field before the whistle blows. As the project manager in Apollo 13 said, “Failure is not an option.” Play full out. Commit 100 percent to the outcome you want. We don’t slip into our greatest achievements. Everything important we accomplish begins with decision. But don’t pretend that trying is the same as doing. It might make us feel better when we fail, but it actually induces the kind of behavior that leads to failure.Ģ. Try is a worthless word that accomplishes nothing. Using the wrong language can create an outcome we don’t intend. The words we use can program us to perform certain ways. Eliminate the word try from your vocabulary.

Maybe it’s time to quit trying and just do it. This may sound like a small distinction, but it has huge ramifications.

Are you trying to make more sales calls-or are you making more sales calls?.

Are you trying to improve your marriage-or are improving your marriage?.

Are you trying to get in shape-or are you getting in shape?.

It just makes it easier for us to let ourselves off the hook when we fail. Trying is really the same as not doing it. It also provides us with an excuse for why we didn’t accomplish the outcome we say we want.ĭo you understand the difference? You either do something or you don’t do it. The point is that when we say we are trying we don’t really have to do anything. You either pick it up, you don’t pick it up, or you try to pick it up.” I said try to pick it up.” Again, she picked up the chair.Īgain, Tony, said, “No, you picked up the chair. Tony continued, “No, now you’re not picking it up. Tony reiterated, “Try to pick it up.” The woman just stood there, not knowing what to do. She turned around and picked up the chair. He asked the woman to try to pick up the chair she was sitting in. Tony went on to make a distinction that I think is vitally important. She complained that she had “tried everything” to improve her relationship with her husband but nothing had changed. She stood up in one of his seminars to ask a question. Tony Robbins gave similar advice to a woman who was struggling in her marriage.

Difference between is and are